I originally knew that this would be an EPIC PHAIL of a movie. Half the critics said it was good, half said it was bad...i dunno what was wrong with THAT half. Well, anyways, I wanted to see it since i've seen all of the other ones (which are awesome, by the way). I didn't expect it to be as bad as I had predicted, but man was i WRONG.
Okay, let's start off on acting. Well, the people were pretty good actors, not very cheap. Harrison Ford did well, but it wasn't the actors that made the acting part so lame. It was the lines. Almost everything Indy said was a variation of "I gotcha! BAM!" It worked a bit in the old ones, carefully spread out. But here, that was just it. Ford didn't even get to say any of his cool and funny lines like in the original ones. So, i'm sorry, it's not his fault. Now, let's move on to the little kid who was Indy's "son". Shia Labeouf. He was the most annoying little twirp, and i COULD NOT STAND HIM. The little kid and even more childish directors made the guy look all "cool" wearing his leather jacket and riding his awesome motorcycle, always smoothing his greasy hair. I don't know what the directors were trying to accomplish making this guy look uber-cool or something. After him, there was Indy's girlfriend that appeared later in the movie, a vain attempt at making it seem like Indy had a love life. WELL HE DOESN'T. Over the past decades, he had an image as lone ranger and now these morons think they can make him some groveling dog at the feet of one VERY UGLY WOMAN (Karen Allen). Well, those were the main actors. Not all of them goo, but mainly rotted by the poorly made lines.
Okay, on to the storyline. This was made the movie not only bad, but also horrifying to watch. Why, god, why did they have to put aliens in it? Everything led to these "ancient" aztec ruins where the power of the skull was to be drawn....now that is what i call an awful storyline. I'm pretty sure it was meant to symbolize unity for man and a deep inner longing to be with each other, end the wars and suffering. It was to see how man depends on a higher force for survival, a God....or maybe it was justly composed plot. THE MYSTERY CONTINUES! I hated how it relied heavily on magic and mysticism, i mean, the other ones were okay because they were more practical, but this one just pushed it over the edge. Speaking impracticality....
I'll explain how IMPRACTICAL the movie was. There were many things that obviously couldn't happen in real life, mainly the fight scenes. In most of the other old films, they were pretty good and seemed possible. In this one, it was ust impossible to recreate in reality what was happening. Make it seem plausible... One thing that really stood out to me was the atom bomb part. I thought the idea was kinda cool, you know, like "you're dead" type thing. It would have been really funny if it was the bad guys finding them selves in a plastic city. However, i wondered, how was Indy gonna get out of this? Let's hide in the -++LeadLined++- fridge! So, of course, the bomb blasts him at 1000mph into the air then falls with a hard-hit landing from like 10,000 feet. He walks without a broken bone out of the fridge....that's not weird at all. Another thing is, i really noticed how they demonized the Russians...They made them seem like evil, incompetent communist-loving villains. You know movie standards are low when Indiana Jones is being exploited for propaganda.
Okay, well, if you like the old Indy films, watch them, because this one will disappoint you.
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